And on another note, as I now have cable for the first time in over twenty years (it’s the disc-shaped thing they bolt to your roof), I was catching up on all things post-Cosby with a teen-witch movie called “The Coven” last night. I’ll be damned if John Travolta isn’t in that film acting as a high school aged goth. The weirdly bloated modern Travolta (thinking maybe L. Ron’s baby alien is growing inside his belly). The movie listed the actress as Veruca Salt or Faruza Balk or something, but that lil’ goth chick was no girl. For whatever reason the 2008 John Travolta used his secret Scientology power to travel in time to 2002 or whenever to make this film for the future. What? Huh? Just know that it’s scary looking, I tell you. Best of all, “her” Hollywood-goth look, which was utterly unconvincing when the film was released now looks DEAD ON as now all the little goth girls dress the part to the tee. Which makes me sad for the high school boys who have to make out with girls who dress like old, fat John Travoltas.

You don’t see it? Go rent the movie. It’s motherfucking John Travolta.