It’s like a lactating tit. Those guys’ve been makin’ cheese for a hundred years. You smell that smoky smell? They’re smoking the cheese. I like it with a little sliced capicolla or sopressata; nothing too heavy.

Speaking of which, did I tell you what I like to make for breakfast when I don’t want to go too heavy? Fritters and hush puppies. Nothing too big. Speaking of which, I was just telling the guy in shipping and receiving about my mistletoe belt buckle. I used to have one of them, but this girl stole it as a trophy back in my cocaine days. You know how that is – they take a shirt, boxers… this broad took my mistletoe belt buckle, the bitch.

That reminds me of a story. I was having this affair with this woman with the biggest tits you have ever seen. My god they were like THIS, like out to here, like boyeeoyeeyoing. And I would leave her sweet little love notes in her lunch. You’re married, you know how it is, you try to do nice things like make lunch, breakfast. So, months later, her husband visits her at work and her co-worker sez, “I love those little notes you leave her in her lunch” and he’s like, “What notes??!?”

You know how it is, you’re married.

But like I was saying about the mozzarella and sausage, what you do is get a few olives from down the block, I’ll show you how to make an amazing sauce, you can boil a pound or two of fettuccine, get yourself a loaf of semolina, maybe a prosciutto stuffed artichoke, a few cutlets of veal and some pork medallions which you can cacciatore and you’re set. Nothing too big.